I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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