I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
