Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
