I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize
