Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
