what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize