did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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