Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize