Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
