My liver just broke up with me...
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize