is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
