Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
