remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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