Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
