You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
