well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
