I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
