Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
