If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
