Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
