Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
