I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Randomize
