yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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