I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
