Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize