got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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