So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
