this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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