I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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