Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
