The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Walk of Shame today included voting.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Randomize
