Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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