hell yes lets make some ravioli
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize