This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
