Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
