All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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