so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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