Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
