Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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