How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
