i think my mom watched the whole time
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
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