Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
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I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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