FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize