After last night, I could never be a politician.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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