quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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