He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
