this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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