This dress was meant to end up on your floor
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
