Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize