I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
