Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Why is your signature on my underwear?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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