i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
