Yo dont text me then not text me
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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