We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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