This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
