I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
so let's talk penis.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Randomize
