My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize