She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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