She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
