I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
