i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
