1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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