I think i sorta joined a cult last night
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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