Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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